After spending the last few days pretty much doing nothing
but sleeping due to a lovely virus my husband so kindly shared with me, I’m
finding it difficult to sleep tonight.
Is that stage of sickness where you can’t just sleep and check out, but
you don’t feel well enough to actually do a darn thing the best? With my lack
of sleep and being in bed for basically 4 solid days (minus a half day Monday
where I decided I was better and went to work) I’ve been thinking so much about
everything that has happened and everything that has changed as a result.
My mind has wandered to all that went wrong in the last two
year, from the obvious and most painful, to the less severe but still stressful. I have said so many times that the last two
years have been hard, but when I really got into listing out the things Joe and
I have faced, I realized the enormity of the way things can pile up. From our laptop, phone, and refrigerator all
breaking during a time when there were no finances to spare, to Joe losing his
job after missing work for CHOP appointments, to serious health concerns, to the
effects of PTSD and grief in our lives and on our relationships with friends
and family, it is a lot! And that is just a small snippet of the list I had running
through my head. I wasn’t thinking about
this in an obsessive, “woe is me” type of way though, just a matter fact way. It is the first time I really let myself
think about everything like that all at once.
